{012}; imperfecciones.

Let's talk imperfections.
If you are a feminine human being, are you confident enough to leave the house without any make up on? Let's be real here, the answer is yes.
I would leave the house with no make up on my face.

But I wouldn't want to meet anyone except my friends, or take any pictures. I definitely wouldn't want to run into anyone.

I hate my naked face. When I say 'Naked Face' I mean my face fresh out of shower after a layer of moisturising cream.

I don't usually wear suncreams because ain't nobody got time for that when you usually wake up at 7 and your class is at 8.

I also leave my brows to the point where it looks like there are seaweeds stuck to my forehead before I go to the waxing saloon to wax them in shape. Yes, I wax my brows and also other places. When I say 'Other places' I meant Legs and Arms. I'm not going to lie, I have hairy legs and arms. Boys in my class was envious because his arms and legs are not as hairy as mine.

Well, I could shave it off, but I'm also too lazy for that. Why spend half an hour saving your arms and legs when you can spend three painful hours and 1500B for some random stranger to rip the first three layers of your skin off, including all your hair and it's root.

I'm just a failure in life. Like, I just fail to live like a human being in general. The previous sentence does not make sense at all. I am a failure in living my daily life, basically.

I used to be very proud of my huge eyes, but not anymore. I've realised that my eyes are not even. It pisses me off every time I'm trying to get a good selfie and my eyes just messed it up. Are you even serious. One of them is bigger than the other. And also my nose. I hate my nose and I will fix it as soon as I come back to Thailand with a master degree. I'm going to fix my nose no matter what.
I don't even want to talk about my chin and my chubby cheeks. My mouth is very weird, and I cannot take side portraits because of my out of shape lips.

Those are just some of my imperfections. I also have other imperfections that would be quite harmful to myself and the people around me, but I would want to save that for my vlogs. Yes, my vlogs.
I will now be filming vlog updates as well as writing blog updates. YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE RABBIT HOLE. Sorry, not even sorry.

The conclusion of this entry is:

You either wear your imperfections like an amour, or conceal it deep enough that you forget about it.

Shout out to those people who are able to wear your imperfections like an amour, and is proud of theirs. I can never be one of you guys, I can only admire you guys from this little dark corner I'm hiding. I'm the latter group. I'm one of those people who would deny the existence of my imperfections, and push it way further down my id that I forgot about it. I also make sure that the superego dudes and dudettes does not let those shitty things run around in my consciousness. Apart from this entry where I'm being honest about how f-ugly I am, these things will never be mentioned again. I am an ugly human being, but I'm trying to cover those things up with all the make up I can buy. I'm also aware that aesthetics also play a part in this 'am I ugly or am I not' thingy, but lets be real;

I cannot even accept this without any filter.

{M5} Mon

When you have to scroll through your old entries to see the number of your latest tag,
that's when you should realise that you have been gone for way too long.

This is M5, i.e. the 5th entry about Films, and stuff in relating to films.

As you may have noticed that I've been working on this short experimental film since December of 2014 (which is just a month ago). I've put a lot of effort into this project since the very beginning -planning the theme and storyboarding and stuff- till shooting the footage. I just finished editing it last night at 3am (GMT +7). It wasn't as pretty as I've expected, and it's not much, but it's a start.

I've also decided to do a vlog as well, so stay tuned to that.

I'm starting to have this doubt whether or not I really want to go to Yorkshire for Masters. I don't really know anymore. I thought it would be good for the future, but I just don't know anymore. So that's new, and that's something I'd like to spend some time thinking it through.

Anyway.

Here it is.

Thank you, and have a better day.

- Rata

{011}; 'Tis the year of changes.

I'm getting ready to flee Thailand.
I'm getting ready to flee Bangkok.
The only thing that's in the way of this path is the dubious near-future.
Not everything is set in stone, but the possibility is quite high. I've done my part, now it's up to the authority to judge my responsibility and make their decision.

What am I blaming about ?
Right.
I haven't been completely honest with all of you.

I am currently working at Harper's Bazaar (Thailand) Magazine as an intern/translator. I'm the writer's apprentice, basically.
I've been working on this job since September, and I am enjoying it so far. However, as I've been planning on leaving the country straight after my last day of my 4th year, I need to focus solely on the application and IELTS.
Talking about IELTS, I am scared. Ok, my English isn't perfect, alright. I've made mistakes, here and there, occasionally, most of the time, yeah. No one's english is perfectly perfect, alright. By all means, I need at least a 7.0 to shove it down someone's throat, and also for the master degree submission. Yes, I am going to Yorkshire for Master in Marketing Communications.
Hey, my dream job is to work for a company that organise concerts and events, alright. Can I just work for Royal Pirates.
And yes, I've been a fan of Royal Pirates since they were still making music in America. After all that time, they've decided to come to Thailand on the day I'm extremely poor and busy. Perfect timing. I went to send them off at the airport, though. And James received the polaroid I made for him. (brb screaming). I have no idea if he's gonna bin it later or what because it's his now, and he can do anything with it. Once a fangirl, always a fangirl, I guess.



I'm in Kanchanaburi right now for an annual family trip. Grandpa wanted to donate some money to build this buddha statue up on the hills. I'll not say how much, but he could send me to America for 2 years, and England for another year with that money. I am not going to judge or anything, but how is giving money away to a temple will make us richer. Yellow should stop using fear to earn money, and Yellow should stop spreading fear and false hope to people. Until someone comes up with a prove that donating money to the temple would gain them access to heaven, or that any of this bs even exist, all this is just ISAs and RSAs controlling the people, repressing them, forcing them in giving money to a certain group of people.
I don't want to talk about this serious business right now, since it would take the whole day. I am not an anti-religion or anything, I just believe in reasons.
And I'm also allergic to bullshit.



Happy 2015, people of the internet.